* There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

* Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

* I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

* Mental Floss prevents moral decay!

* Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.

* Be nice to your kids . . . they'll be the ones choosing your nursing home.

* Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

* There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.

* I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

* Did you ever stop to think . . . and forget to start again?

* A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

* I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.

* Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.

* If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

* Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.

* It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.